for getting into a BSC for mathematical sciences
lil clever boff
proud of u shnitzchel
"this is it...the tales of a 17 year old, setting off to an all girls boarding school in the concrete jungle of Durbun-South Africa 2011 with a heavy head of ambitions and a sore hungry heart.(29.9.2010)
Monday, January 24, 2011
1st closed weekend in Boarding
It was mad.Jesus.
Oh I forgot to say that on Wednesday...we had 2 hours of chapel...I had to kneel on a cushion in the altar and eat stale bread and off wine. This i found most intrusive and offensive on my atheist beliefs.
Wednesday we threw water over gr.8 when they were posing for a photo...was bloody funny.Friday night was gr.8 sleepover and i was convinced to go....We had to stay up till midnight when we dressed up in lumo costumes and things and woke the gr/8's up with sirens and arobics...for a whole hour.I did am and pm training....I was not impressed...we then proceeded to sleep on the hard floor of the drama studio.So didnt sleep well.
The next day was bloooody saturday school which was the worst 5 hours of my life...ok not really...but it was super kak.They refused to let me sleep after school because i had to do boarders activities and obstacles that day in the scorching Durban heat....by that time I already had one foot in the grave...
thats not the best....
THAT NIGHT
i was forced to dress up like a cowgirl and go the ANNUAL barn dance....friday we even sang I am a christian cow gorl in anticipation of it.
It was sore...and I got checked out by a yeachers lover...
BUT WAIT
it gets better...Sunday...we woke up at 7!!!Put on our blazers and school uniform and did a 5km hike to the shops and back...with no prupose...in the pouring rain.Was shitttt.
Luckily..The afternoon we were allowed to go out on exeat/
Rene Warnes and I went to Gateway where i had the idea...to pierce my belly.
....
its eff sore.
Today is a horrid day.I got so much work and tests.I dunno how im gonna do it.I skipped training this pm...and now i feel kak about myself.
ef
my
life.
and i miss my gorgeous hubbby
Oh I forgot to say that on Wednesday...we had 2 hours of chapel...I had to kneel on a cushion in the altar and eat stale bread and off wine. This i found most intrusive and offensive on my atheist beliefs.
Wednesday we threw water over gr.8 when they were posing for a photo...was bloody funny.Friday night was gr.8 sleepover and i was convinced to go....We had to stay up till midnight when we dressed up in lumo costumes and things and woke the gr/8's up with sirens and arobics...for a whole hour.I did am and pm training....I was not impressed...we then proceeded to sleep on the hard floor of the drama studio.So didnt sleep well.
The next day was bloooody saturday school which was the worst 5 hours of my life...ok not really...but it was super kak.They refused to let me sleep after school because i had to do boarders activities and obstacles that day in the scorching Durban heat....by that time I already had one foot in the grave...
thats not the best....
THAT NIGHT
i was forced to dress up like a cowgirl and go the ANNUAL barn dance....friday we even sang I am a christian cow gorl in anticipation of it.
It was sore...and I got checked out by a yeachers lover...
BUT WAIT
it gets better...Sunday...we woke up at 7!!!Put on our blazers and school uniform and did a 5km hike to the shops and back...with no prupose...in the pouring rain.Was shitttt.
Luckily..The afternoon we were allowed to go out on exeat/
Rene Warnes and I went to Gateway where i had the idea...to pierce my belly.
....
its eff sore.
Today is a horrid day.I got so much work and tests.I dunno how im gonna do it.I skipped training this pm...and now i feel kak about myself.
ef
my
life.
and i miss my gorgeous hubbby
Thursday was a very kak day.(20th I think..of jan)
Basically my wonderful,glorified matric dance is slap bang in the middel of Senior Nations...too make things better...its in P.E and not Durban so the only way ill be getting to my own prom is....by flying down to Durban for the day......feck
Training is also exceptionally hard and im struggling toc ope with am training the new school and them pm training...it is all l very very very hard.
School work here at saint is on a whooole new level...very serious and very hard work.There are cow shit loads of it...and hard work too...They dont hesitate on tests either....
OH WELL FML
im at a emotional state right now that caannot be described.
Training is also exceptionally hard and im struggling toc ope with am training the new school and them pm training...it is all l very very very hard.
School work here at saint is on a whooole new level...very serious and very hard work.There are cow shit loads of it...and hard work too...They dont hesitate on tests either....
OH WELL FML
im at a emotional state right now that caannot be described.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
New school yo!(19 Jan 2011)
Sorry I haven't been able to upload photo's and write...get on the internet is hard here bro!!!
Basically i started boarding and my new school ,im the new kid on the block....and its awkward
But furthermore I am very happy and my boarding house room is lekker....BUT HOLY SHIT are they pounding us with work...stuff i have never even done.....but ya.I'm happy...im just missing my gorgeous baby uncontrollably much....and it really hot in my too-small-for-me uniform...I haven't trained well this week ,i think its the new adjustments.Food here is good...today i got flapjacks and banabread and past and and and...nim getting horribly fat
major news is.I got a matric prom dress....its a dream dress for real!
Next week from the 25th till the 31st first I'm on S.A training camp in P.E....and im fat and unfit....
oh and did i tell u the saint mary's girls are such bitches SJOH!
oh well...ill figure it out . There are some pretty nice people here too
photo's will follow
p.p.s laat loop matrix 2011
Basically i started boarding and my new school ,im the new kid on the block....and its awkward
But furthermore I am very happy and my boarding house room is lekker....BUT HOLY SHIT are they pounding us with work...stuff i have never even done.....but ya.I'm happy...im just missing my gorgeous baby uncontrollably much....and it really hot in my too-small-for-me uniform...I haven't trained well this week ,i think its the new adjustments.Food here is good...today i got flapjacks and banabread and past and and and...nim getting horribly fat
major news is.I got a matric prom dress....its a dream dress for real!
Next week from the 25th till the 31st first I'm on S.A training camp in P.E....and im fat and unfit....
oh and did i tell u the saint mary's girls are such bitches SJOH!
oh well...ill figure it out . There are some pretty nice people here too
photo's will follow
p.p.s laat loop matrix 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday 16th January 2011
Well this is it...tomorrow i say goodbye to mom and dad and there i will remain in DSG boading house, room 14.I have not yet cried and nor am i sad.
It has been a good week and training has been hard but good. I lost 3kg!coach wants me to lose another 4...FML. But the team is really nice...i have never experienced a team like this before.So i am excited to see what this team and Graham and Delon (my coaches) holds for me and far it will pimit me...
I must say that i would of thought that by this time i would be sick of tears...but i am fine...Haven’t cried since that I left..so i guess the Duvenage genes from my mother’s side did me some gooound d.
I miss him...today was the first time I managed to look at photographs...and instead of being overwhelmed by a huge hurdle of sadness i got hit but a heap of happiness...and it was great!
Tomorrow is the 1st day of a new life...shake up the happiness...Durban bound for shure!
p.s my uniform is fugly...and the boarding house uniform is called a MUFti (giant lesbian lol)
xx
It has been a good week and training has been hard but good. I lost 3kg!coach wants me to lose another 4...FML. But the team is really nice...i have never experienced a team like this before.So i am excited to see what this team and Graham and Delon (my coaches) holds for me and far it will pimit me...
I must say that i would of thought that by this time i would be sick of tears...but i am fine...Haven’t cried since that I left..so i guess the Duvenage genes from my mother’s side did me some gooound d.
I miss him...today was the first time I managed to look at photographs...and instead of being overwhelmed by a huge hurdle of sadness i got hit but a heap of happiness...and it was great!
Tomorrow is the 1st day of a new life...shake up the happiness...Durban bound for shure!
p.s my uniform is fugly...and the boarding house uniform is called a MUFti (giant lesbian lol)
xx
Mango days and Energade-12 January 2010
Today Is Wednesday. Training at my club started on Monday sorry for the delay...but i was too fucked and tired to care about some blog page.Here is how it was....hard....darm bloody hard.I have never trained this hard in my life before! This morning I could not do a basic roll of my shoulders. Everything is stiff and sore and while i was training I threw up 3 times already.yayzies.
But out of that grim image came goodness because I feel great! Already lost some weight and I know that this will guide me small steps into the right direction.
Durban however is backward. The pace is slow and people are old fashioned in the way they act and communicate. 21 year olds are still young teenagers in comparison to “Kaapenaars” glitzy girls and boys of Bishop court ,Red dam and pretty much all upper-class private schools of Western Cape. It’s a whole different place here. Cattle such as goats and cows are not un-common to the streets, monkey’s roam the telephone wires and dense jungle environment and bugs here are huge. I find myself dressing up to go out for dinner only wearing Nike’s ,shorts and a white vest. Back home a pretty dress, accessories ,a handbag and pretty little golden sandals was a must...or you would be very quickly targeted as a “hag” or more severely a “lesbian”. That’s another thing...it feels like there’s is a whole lot more lesbians here...they hunch and lurk the grounds here abundantly. There are also many churches and church centres...my conclusion...they are preparing for the Zombie apocalypse which will happen in our doom in 2012.
Peggy:“God gave us two great gifts in life; 1)squirrels that can water-ski 2)dogs that can skate-board”
But thus far have not yet visited my dark place. My eyes have remained dry since Saturday. School begins in5 days..and I am not one bit nervous .Oh well...Mom comes tomorrow to settle me into boarding and things on Monday...then its the real thing. Me on my own.
But this time I feel that maybe I’m ready...and maybe..just maybe this is what I am supposed to do.
But out of that grim image came goodness because I feel great! Already lost some weight and I know that this will guide me small steps into the right direction.
Durban however is backward. The pace is slow and people are old fashioned in the way they act and communicate. 21 year olds are still young teenagers in comparison to “Kaapenaars” glitzy girls and boys of Bishop court ,Red dam and pretty much all upper-class private schools of Western Cape. It’s a whole different place here. Cattle such as goats and cows are not un-common to the streets, monkey’s roam the telephone wires and dense jungle environment and bugs here are huge. I find myself dressing up to go out for dinner only wearing Nike’s ,shorts and a white vest. Back home a pretty dress, accessories ,a handbag and pretty little golden sandals was a must...or you would be very quickly targeted as a “hag” or more severely a “lesbian”. That’s another thing...it feels like there’s is a whole lot more lesbians here...they hunch and lurk the grounds here abundantly. There are also many churches and church centres...my conclusion...they are preparing for the Zombie apocalypse which will happen in our doom in 2012.
Peggy:“God gave us two great gifts in life; 1)squirrels that can water-ski 2)dogs that can skate-board”
But thus far have not yet visited my dark place. My eyes have remained dry since Saturday. School begins in5 days..and I am not one bit nervous .Oh well...Mom comes tomorrow to settle me into boarding and things on Monday...then its the real thing. Me on my own.
But this time I feel that maybe I’m ready...and maybe..just maybe this is what I am supposed to do.
Durban Bound,this rain in hell (9th Jan 2010-Journey from East London to guest house in Durbun)
Today is considerably a lot better than yesterday, I guess I’ve made that 1st step away from home .That hardest step .I am still delicate and raw at this stage but am trying my best to keep a positive frame of mind and too keep simple things like thought, music and conversation as light-hearted as possible. Sascha wrote me a letter which i read in the late emotional and needy hours of last night .It picked me up and I can now almost positively say that it(the letter) has set me off in the direction I need to be. The 647km trip from East London through the Trankei to Durban was a scenic and long one .Many grassy green hills ,dilapidated churches, little rural villages and long long jolting roads were amongst the many recurring sights I saw. My stomach churning to the ever-growing and approaching destination. A stop at Nandos in Port Shepston eased of the churning but not the dawning of the Durban city. Approaching the city my mood became lighter and instead of a great storm of tears as expected I felt a little twinkle of excitement as I now knew that this was it...The jungle city.There is nothing else to do expect grim & bare and eat...fruit.
Tomorrow I start my first training session with my new club “Seagulls swimming club”. Oh how I dread it.I have also received the news that dreaded first session will be three.hours.long. By god I have never ever done exercise three.hours.long in my life! This training session will be done in the company of rather fit and good athlete’s. Chad Le Clos (world champion ,commonwealth champion and youtholympic champion ),Charl Van Zyl (world champs) and Jan Venter(Olympics) to name a few. All of them being evidently longer distance swimmers...and male too. I am a 50m sprint female and I have not had proper training with a proper team for more than a year .Fuck. Tomorrow my long-term stay in Durban ends.Oh well, sorry this blog cannot end on a happy and expected note.
All this was enough to keep my mind off my family and Sascha for a while ,but as I begin to become tired and as the day becomes longer and darker the shadows and thought begin to fall directly overhead and i’m losing this cheerful vs depressed battle. A picture of Sascha’s youth however did give me a huge advantage to this and I think I might make it to bed without a wet pillow to sleep on.
(Photo’s are to follow)
Tomorrow I start my first training session with my new club “Seagulls swimming club”. Oh how I dread it.I have also received the news that dreaded first session will be three.hours.long. By god I have never ever done exercise three.hours.long in my life! This training session will be done in the company of rather fit and good athlete’s. Chad Le Clos (world champion ,commonwealth champion and youtholympic champion ),Charl Van Zyl (world champs) and Jan Venter(Olympics) to name a few. All of them being evidently longer distance swimmers...and male too. I am a 50m sprint female and I have not had proper training with a proper team for more than a year .Fuck. Tomorrow my long-term stay in Durban ends.Oh well, sorry this blog cannot end on a happy and expected note.
All this was enough to keep my mind off my family and Sascha for a while ,but as I begin to become tired and as the day becomes longer and darker the shadows and thought begin to fall directly overhead and i’m losing this cheerful vs depressed battle. A picture of Sascha’s youth however did give me a huge advantage to this and I think I might make it to bed without a wet pillow to sleep on.
(Photo’s are to follow)
Milestone of my youth and pebble of the future(8th Jan 2010)
Today I left my home of 17 years...to pursue my dreams of going to the Olympics for swimming. I doubted this dream today and not only vaguely but more vastly than ever before.Driving in a Honda from Cape Town to East London with dad ,where we will sleep tonight, along the coast provides more than enough visual entertainment for the 15 hour journey. I looked out the window little ,as it then made me feel a little too vulnerable to what was happening and to what has been the hardest decision of my youth thus far. A 4:28am mourn with your best friend-boyfriend and brother at side is not something to boast about .Right now i feel as i have lost and i am lost as I am nothing but an object made to please and command....saying goodbye to my first love and best friend was something that seemed false until last night...when i was sleeping with my mom and brother and of course him in my room ...that i then rather bluntly and suddenly realised that this was infarct the end of the good or rather secure life that I’ve always known...What now? what is to happen of your newly found purpose and love which was...fully and conditionally all just about him. I knew at my age it isn’t right to think in such a frame. The journey i just embarked is the right thing ,I have to. Speaking sense into my own head is the only comfort i have now...pictures make me hurt and memories make me weak. Cheesy as that is ,it’s hard...and I sit here thinking to myself...”fuck...Peggy what have you done?”.I’m on my own now and my mind is set not on the journey, the training or the new boarding school butt all just him. This is...in fact personal but this is my little way of stitching it back...or what feels like trying to find the pieces among the wreck.Putting head with heart has always just been a fuck up.Tomorrow we drive our final stretch of 600km from East London to Kloof,Durbun...where i will stay ...for the next year...without
Friday, January 7, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Packing,Pasting and praying
Its one week before i leave.
thoughts:"fuck"
feeling:"gah"
heart:"new adventures on the horizons"
I haven't really thought about the big move...
I guess there isn't really much to think about.Dad is very excited about the big roadtrip up to durban along the coast line...and so am I.
Sorry about not really blogging...the whole gallop hasn't really kicked of yet...so i dont have much to blog about.
I just came from an eventful holiday on the tip of Africa in a small(but seasonly packed) struisbaai. It gave me a chance to get thoughts in order regarding next year.Conclusions came to me realizing the only way is to be positive and to see this as a huge step in the direction i wish to go and as character building...I too wish to be one of those old people with the good stories.
This holiday involved these highlightes:
1. My brother rode over me on my surfboard with a paddle ski.(it hurt)...i swore vulgarly at him for 20minutes
2.Christmas lunch with the family wasn't a disaster...meeting what we call the Fockers (my brothers girlfriend's parents) however was...awkward.
3.Sascha(My beloved and gorgeous boyfriend) came along with all my brothers friends and stuff started picking up.
4.We went out alot....new years i threw up my own bile and got alcohol poiseninh
5.Peter(my brothers friend) shot a rocket out of his ass on new years.He got severely burnt...
6. The quotes for the holiday included "Lekker Waldi,"'N mens hak uit"" and my favourite.."get on my dick LOL"
7.On the 1st(yesterday) sascha and i trekked to the harbour cafe for some bacon and eggs.I cried it was soo good.
8.We then went on to go tubing with a hangover.
9.Sascha came to realisation of a few things and we got his shit a tad sorted out whilst taking a long "chessy-romantic" walk on the beach.
there is no 10....I guess ill just end the points on 9.Being home after 20 days of racing in Durban and Struisbaai is good..Buto nly for a week.Then the real hustle begins.
(Photo's of the holiday are to follow)
safe safe amigo's
oh and...GET ON MY DICK...LOL
thoughts:"fuck"
feeling:"gah"
heart:"new adventures on the horizons"
I haven't really thought about the big move...
I guess there isn't really much to think about.Dad is very excited about the big roadtrip up to durban along the coast line...and so am I.
Sorry about not really blogging...the whole gallop hasn't really kicked of yet...so i dont have much to blog about.
I just came from an eventful holiday on the tip of Africa in a small(but seasonly packed) struisbaai. It gave me a chance to get thoughts in order regarding next year.Conclusions came to me realizing the only way is to be positive and to see this as a huge step in the direction i wish to go and as character building...I too wish to be one of those old people with the good stories.
This holiday involved these highlightes:
1. My brother rode over me on my surfboard with a paddle ski.(it hurt)...i swore vulgarly at him for 20minutes
2.Christmas lunch with the family wasn't a disaster...meeting what we call the Fockers (my brothers girlfriend's parents) however was...awkward.
3.Sascha(My beloved and gorgeous boyfriend) came along with all my brothers friends and stuff started picking up.
4.We went out alot....new years i threw up my own bile and got alcohol poiseninh
5.Peter(my brothers friend) shot a rocket out of his ass on new years.He got severely burnt...
6. The quotes for the holiday included "Lekker Waldi,"'N mens hak uit"" and my favourite.."get on my dick LOL"
7.On the 1st(yesterday) sascha and i trekked to the harbour cafe for some bacon and eggs.I cried it was soo good.
8.We then went on to go tubing with a hangover.
9.Sascha came to realisation of a few things and we got his shit a tad sorted out whilst taking a long "chessy-romantic" walk on the beach.
there is no 10....I guess ill just end the points on 9.Being home after 20 days of racing in Durban and Struisbaai is good..Buto nly for a week.Then the real hustle begins.
(Photo's of the holiday are to follow)
safe safe amigo's
oh and...GET ON MY DICK...LOL
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